Jessica Chastain to Play Rosa Parks

Rosa Parks

A bio pic of legendary civil rights leader Rosa Parks is finally in the works. Producers say that Jessica Chastain has been cast as the woman who stood up for herself, and an entire race, on a bus one cold winter day in 1955.

“Jessica Chastain was the obvious choice,” the casting director said in an exclusive. “The producers said, ‘Get me that woman from ‘The Help.’ So I did.”

“Having Rosa Parks be played by Jessica Chastain was not intentional, but we will go with the flow. We’re sure Ms. Parks would want it that way,” stated a nervous studio executive at Tone Deaf Films. “We just had Scarlett Johansson playing an Asian character in ‘Ghost in the Shell’ and Jude Law recently played Michael Jackson. We would be racist if we fixed our error and replaced her with an African American woman.”

Update:  The role of Martin Luther King, Jr. has been filled by Ryan Gosling. “They said, ‘Get us the guy from this year’s Oscar winner for best film,” Mr. Slope informed us as he packed his boxes. “Listen, Gosling was in a musical and he can’t sing. Apparently, we’ll put him in everything.” 

“Back that Bus Up” will be released just in time for Columbus Day.

Continue reading “Jessica Chastain to Play Rosa Parks”

Dying Man’s Only Regret is He Spent Too Much Time With his Family

Merv Flipburn, movie producer died late Thursday. The coroner called the time as “Right after ‘Scandal’ and right before I realized ‘How to Get Away With Murder’ wasn’t on.” Flipburn was a beloved producer in Hollywood was known for being able to sell any script or idea.

“I remember one time he was pitching me in my office during allergy season,” said one studio head, “I sneezed, he said ‘Gazuntite’ and before I knew it, I said, ‘I’ll take it.’ Merv was that good in a room. The movie was a bomb in the States, but did well in Germany.”

“The one thing in life I regret not doing,” one family member reported Flipburn saying from his deathbed,  “I regret not doing more movies with Dwayne Johnson. I should have pitched The Rock more. I made Dwayne an inspirational sports coach, a mean bachelor who becomes a softy, a video game character in a hopeful but DOA franchise, indie film actor, a tooth fairy who learns to be less of an abusive boyfriend/step father and to floss… But there was  always more I could do. I could have done more.  Rock could’ve done a a rehab movie. He had a “28 Days’ in him. My time on this planet was too short.  I will always regret it. There never seems to be enough time in the day. Such is life. It will always regret not getting him a romcom.”

Shortly after making that statement, he passed on.

Mr. Flipburn is survived by his annoyed wife and three shocked and disappointed children.

MORE BREAKING NEWS: 

“An Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe” to Be re-Imagined

Jessica Chastain to Play Rosa Parks

“An Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe” to Be re-Imagined

In the tradition of “Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters” and “Jack the Giant Slayer,”   MEH  Films is rebooting, or re-soling,  “An Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe.” To be directed by Battle Ship’s Peter Berg, “A Really Big Shoe.” has been described as “‘Die Hard’ in a size 9” Berg said he always wanted to tell this classic children’s story. “I remember reading it as a kid thinking. “This is cute, but where are the explosions?”

Kristen Stewart has signed on to play the old woman.  “I am excited to get a chance to walk in this character’s shoes,” said the “Twilight” star, “Although you won’t be able to tell from my face. It’s great that there are still roles for women over 20. ”

Stewart will play a laced up old woman who lives in a shoe and has so many children, she’s not sure of her options. Then on Christmas Eve, after putting her many children to bed with broth, but no bread,  a sinister terrorist organization with no ties to any one country (but we all know where, right?) invade her home. Stewart’s old woman character must save the day and the shoe.

No release date has been set, but one studio head did say, “The holidays are very busy for us. So we might try and shoe horn it between Christmas and New Years.”

Watch: “Star Wars Holiday Special”

“Star Wars Holiday Special” was ridiculouscreen-shot-2016-11-19-at-7-56-04-pms marriage of the future of filmmaking and the past of TV variety shows. As kids we were so excited to get more Star Wars at our own home! Now that I think of it, we went from seeing the movie in theater to watching the seeing the special on a little black and white TV!

Here’s the special and below an oral history and more background.

You’ve been warned.It’s the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special. It made us all sad. Watch it here.

 

Don’t be an Itchy! Click here to buy a Life Day shirt!

Mental Floss has a great oral history of how the special came to be. Very worth reading. Here are a couple of highlights of the special’s low lights…

With a budget of roughly $1 million—the 1977 film cost $11 millionThe Star Wars Holiday Special began filming in Burbank, California in the summer of 1978 with a script that had been heavily revised by variety show veterans Bruce Vilanch, Rod Warren, and Mitzie Welch to reflect the Smith-Hemion style of bombastic musical numbers and kitsch. Chewbacca was now trying to race home in time for “Life Day,” with his family watching interstellar musical interludes and comedic sketches—like a four-armed Julia Child parody—on a video screen. 

 

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“Ninja 3: The Domination” with Todd Levin

ninja-iii-598x195More like the “Ninja 3: The Dumb-ination,” Am I right? Conan writer Todd Levin joins me to talk about great, great mess of a movie. We were going to watch some other movie, but Todd emails me that this movie is amazing and he was right!

We take down this Canon Classic!

Watch the whole movie here:

About the lead actress Lucinda Dickey from IMDB:

Lucinda was part of the troupe when Solid Gold’s third season began, and a short biography on her was included in press materials for the show. However, her stint was very brief — so brief that most Solid Gold fans may not realize she actually danced on the show. Born and raised in Hutchinson, Kansas, Lucinda began dancing at the age of four and went on to major in dance at Kansas State University for two years. As a college student, Lucinda competed in the Miss Kansas pageant, where she won the talent division and finished third runner-up.

Lucinda then moved to Los Angeles and won a dance scholarship with the Dupree Dance Academy. After 10 months of study at Dupree, she auditioned for the movie Grease 2(1982) and won a role as one of film’s lead dancers. Lucinda also appeared in the movieNinja III: The Domination (1984), where she played a woman possessed by the evil spirit of a ninja assassin. The movie role she is most famous for, however, is that of Kelly (aka Special K) in the 1984 cult film Breakin’ (1984) which also featured Solid Gold dancers Cooley Jackson and Leslie Cook.

Lucinda currently lives in California with her husband, Craig Pilligian (who is co-executive producer of the TV show “Survivor”) and their two children, according to a July 2000 Hutchinson News article.

– IMDb Mini Biography By: sgdc@hotmail.com

Here are some goofs from the IMDB page: Continue reading ““Ninja 3: The Domination” with Todd Levin”

You’re Pittying the Wrong Fool, Fool

Variety’s website put up a picture of actor/comedian David Alan Grier with a caption meant for role model, Mr. T.

It’s hard to say if it was a human error or something is wrong with their Geosites site or something. But still, catch those errors. One guy has a very recognizable haircut, he’s pretty unique.

Let’s talk about the article, it was about Food Network trying to reach younger audiences by doing shows with comedians. Who are the bridges to the young kids? They hired the great Arsenio Hall and DAG. If by “Young” they mean 47 years old, then they did it! How old is their audience now? 100?

 

 

Chuck Norris in his first film “Breaker, Breaker!”

Where Chuck Norris began… and almost ended his film career.

Before “Walker, Texas Ranger,” Chuck Norris kicked his way through the 70’s trucker/dirt bike/kung fu movie “Breaker! Breaker!”

It’s 1977 and everyone wants to be a trucker. That was the craze. So someone figured to put some Karate and some so trucks together. Continue reading “Chuck Norris in his first film “Breaker, Breaker!””

When Netflix & Game Shows use ICA, an “Intolerant Computerized Algorithm”

I recently watched a doc on Netflix about LA gangs. It was really good.

Netflix’s computerized system was right to assume I would want to watch other docs on gangs. I can see them thinking that would spill into docs about gangsters and people in jail. I guess it would also make sense that I like docs in general. I get that too. But why would they think I would want to watch a beloved family sitcom based on watching “Crips and Bloods?” I don’t see the connection.

Other computer fails:

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