Jeff Zucker Quits out of Frustration

“What did I have to do to get fired?” Jeff Zucker asked in a letter to the chairmen at NBC. Turns out Zucker’s plan for years was to do such a bad job NBC would drop him.

“I wanted you to fire me so I could collect unemployment. But no matter what I did, you idiots rewarded me. This network was number one when I got here. Now we are number 5. The only reason we are no longer number six is because UPN and The WB combined.”

“I turned ‘Friends’ into ‘Joey,'” He wrote in conclusion, “I mean come on!”

NBC executives took this memo in stride. They immediately optioned the email from Zucker and are planning on airing the show this spring, produced byBen Silverman.

(Not true. But feels like it.)