Jessica Chastain to Play Rosa Parks

Rosa Parks

A bio pic of legendary civil rights leader Rosa Parks is finally in the works. Producers say that Jessica Chastain has been cast as the woman who stood up for herself, and an entire race, on a bus one cold winter day in 1955.

“Jessica Chastain was the obvious choice,” the casting director said in an exclusive. “The producers said, ‘Get me that woman from ‘The Help.’ So I did.”

“Having Rosa Parks be played by Jessica Chastain was not intentional, but we will go with the flow. We’re sure Ms. Parks would want it that way,” stated a nervous studio executive at Tone Deaf Films. “We just had Scarlett Johansson playing an Asian character in ‘Ghost in the Shell’ and Jude Law recently played Michael Jackson. We would be racist if we fixed our error and replaced her with an African American woman.”

Update:  The role of Martin Luther King, Jr. has been filled by Ryan Gosling. “They said, ‘Get us the guy from this year’s Oscar winner for best film,” Mr. Slope informed us as he packed his boxes. “Listen, Gosling was in a musical and he can’t sing. Apparently, we’ll put him in everything.” 

“Back that Bus Up” will be released just in time for Columbus Day.


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