Exclusive: Jenny McCarthy Causes Autism

Studies have found that looking at Jenny McCarthy on the cover of Playboy causes autism in young boys. “My son changed after he saw that cover,” said actress Dawn Givings, “He had no signs of autism before. He didn’t talk by 16 months and there were no big smiles or other warm, joyful expressions by six months or thereafter. But once he looked at the cover, boom! Autism.”

“We trust Ms. Givings. She’s not just an actress,” tweeted one outraged parent, “Dawn Givings once auditioned to play a doctor. She came very close so she knows what she is talking about.”

“My son just got Autism from the Playboy cover and he’s twelve,” another angry mother posted on Facebook, “After he saw that cover, he just spends hours in the bathroom with it brushing his hair. No one brushes their hair that much unless they have Autism. There’s nothing else it could be.”

Ms. Givings is not taking her arbitrary findings lightly, the actress/actress sprung into action going on talk shows, fielding book deals and taking meetings.

“This isn’t about my career,” said the actress who had her career highlight years ago, “This is about spreading my crack pot theory to everyone who will listen.” Ms. Givings can be seen in the new syndicated doctor/police procedural “Diagnosis Blonde.”

The actress claiming her song got Autism from a cover a magazine says she knows Autism when she sees it. “My father is autistic. So is my uncle. I should know. It has to be the magazine cover. There’s no other explanation.”

When reached for comment, Playboy Industries were not aware that Ms. McCarthy had been in their magazine since “Clinton was in office.”

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