Dick Van Dyke To Receive SAG Life Achievement Award

“It’s about fucking time,” said the legendary actor. “It’s 2012 already. I was in  mother fucking  ‘Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang’ for Christ’s sake. I had my own ground-breaking TV comedy. I was ‘Matlock,’ so fuck you.” The “Marry Poppins” star shook his head, “No wait,  ‘Matlock’ was Andy Griffith. You know, Andy Griffith, the guy who practically invented the sitcom and still didn’t get a piece of shit SAG Award! Who the fuck did I have to blow to get this tin statue? Mother fucker. SAG Award? I was paying SAG dues back when most of you shit stains were sucking on your nanny’s tit.”
When asked if he was honored, Van Dyke, whose performance in “Bye, Bye Bird” on Broadway launched his great career responded, “Yes, I’m very honored. What kind of piece of shit question is that?”


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