HO HO HOpeless. Greed comes to Christmas in the first Santa Claus origin story/superhero reboot. Dudley Moore, John Lithgow do their best to get through “Santa Claus: the Movie.” Obviously they only read the first draft of the paycheck. Mike Spiegelman, my brother from the same mother, joins with back ground on this film, ridiculous moments and product placement. Yes, a movie that takes place mostly on the North Pole has product placement. Lithgow chews up the scenery like a Christmas cookie and Moore sits there like an old fruit cake. The movie has the same footage of NYC that was used in Superman. This time they just put Santa on it. Plus a lot of glitter. Chantel!
Dear Santa, I know you know when I’ve been sleeping and you know when I’ve been awake. Sorry about the film. Could not keep my eyes open. Enjoy two out of three cookies I left for you. ”
If you still want to buy “Santa Claus: The Movie” click here.
“Proudly Resents” will be Live in NYC on January 13th. Buy tickets here.
Impulse buy Mike’s very funny joke book.
In his book Have Yourself a Movie Little Christmas, critic Alonso Duralde lists Santa Claus: The Movie in his chapter of worst Christmas movies ever. His reasons include weak plot, garish production design, blatant product placement (particularly for McDonald’s, though Coke and Pabst Blue Ribbon are also prominent), and scenery-chewing overacting on the part of Lithgow. Duralde ultimately concludes that the film is “a train-wreck of a Christmas movie that’s so very wrong that you won’t be able to tear yourself away from it.”
John Carpenter was originally offered the chance to direct, but also wanted a say in the writing, musical score and final cut of the movie. Carpenter’s original choice for the role of Santa was Brian Dennehy.
(Yes, I just quoted a source that quoted a source.)
From IMDB.com, lines from the movie:
Ancient Elf: The Prophecy has come to pass, that there would come to us a Chosen One, and that he, having no child of his own, would love all children everywhere, and that he himself would be an artisan, and a craftsman, and a skilled maker of toys. [to Santa] And now, Chosen One, come forward. From this day on, now and forever, you will bring all our gifts to all the children in all the world, and all this to be done on Christmas Eve.
Santa Claus: How can I do so much in just one night?
Ancient Elf: Well, know this: time travels with you. The night of the world is a passage of endless night for you, until your mission is done. This is your legacy, and your gift…. as is the gift of flight. Now, all those within the sound of my voice, and all those on this Earth everywhere know that henceforth, you will be called — Santa Claus. And now, everyone, Merry Christmas.